she has a tiny mouth but huuuge vocal chords
so I found out that he is the older brother of a friend of mine from high school
awkward
no it got awkward about 40mins later when he invited me to stay the night...with him and his girlfriend.
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
he's been in the country 4 hours and we just did it in the closet. he called me "miss flirtatious in the cupboard." i'm in love.
you wanted the guy to gift wrap the condoms
Not sure if jager bombs can cure tuberculosis, but its a theory im testing as we speak
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I need like a hormone stopper. Or a chastity belt. Or like a lady business alarm that goes off when I'm being too drunk.
I don't care if my next phone has to run on the blood of virgin koala bears, I don't want to be scrambling for a charger.
You'd love her. She's outspoken like us. And appreciates a big penis and a strong drink.
SOMEONE WITH THE TWITTER HANDLE "METHLAB" FAVORITED THAT PICTURE
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
I just dropped a condom on the floor at costco in front of my girlfriend and her husband. Today is not going to go well.
I wonder if my sister will drive me around while I do bong hits in the back seat..
You realized your blanket was a snuggie, spread your arms, and yelled "tonight I sleep like jesus!"
Randomize
