so when am I gonna get some from you?
when you dick grows 3 inches
either she doesn't know how to dress properly on a sunday morning stroll, or I just saw a 60 year old on a walk of shame
my brother came home with a bottle of vodka and his pants off. were gonna spend more quality time together.
He managed to light the Jello on fire...
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just woke up with a blunt in each nostril and a lighter duct taped to my chest...good lookin out
Three questions... How drunk were you? How long until we can make fun of you for this? Do you even really need a spleen?
Dude I was taking a shower and I kept looking down at the drain expecting Mario to come up, yell "It's a me, Mario!", tickle my balls, and go back down the drain.
Guys with values who care about your personality don't cum on your back the 2nd time they you sleep with you.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
steve's beating me 4-2 in our "sexually confusing straight people" competition. steve is a wizard. this is not a drill.
Me and some girl at the bar just high fived for not wearing bras
I'm slacking. We've been hooking up for months and I have yet to bang him while he's wearing the clown mask.
All I want is a hot dog on a Saturday at 2:19 is that to much to ask?!
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
I'm really excited to meet your new dude! But we really need to find out if he's your cousin first.
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