it feels like theres a golf ball between my legs. the sex was totally worth it tho.
just read twilight to her over the phone, while in the bathtub, candlelight...i'd love to say no homo but that was so gay.
Her "get-your-paper-done-early-blowjob" incentive is the thing that has successfully deterred my procrastination
you started crying because you didn't get to wear your rainboots this week so i turned on the shower and let you jump around in it
youre the best friend ever
figured you should hear this from me. Your refrigerator door is way broken. I opened it last night when i was drunk and tried to climb the shelves. i got to the one with the mustard.
I think after that blow job he got the other day he'd set himself on fire if I asked.
Also, I found out tonight a major plus for being female is you can accidentally call the hot bartender sweet tits and she won't get mad.
Cock is NEVER random. You may quote me on that.
Lying on this bed is like lying on love and marshmallows and joy
I whispered "you're doing a great Job" when he was fucking me. Then high fived him.
Well it was tamer than the 4th of july when I blew that guy I met walking home from the fireworks
There was a pumpkin carving contest and we carved a very realistic dick about to penetrate a vagina. Our Christian Youth hosts were not happy.
Oh yes there is. Now I'm the sad one. Please organize my life. And I will demoralize yours.
Had a guy offer me a shot. But he wimped out when I asked for tequila and instead ordered gummi bear shots. I don't think he has balls. I didn't stick around to find out.
Was looking through my phone and saw that drunk me took a tit pic in the Denny's bathroom..
Randomize
