The first thing on our $10,000 damage bill was "condoms in the main drain"
Awesome. Ask her out.
Nope. She's got a detail of ed hardy security around her.
thought so. i woke up and he was playing with my eyeliner. I MAKE GREAT CHOICES.
Ur just texting me random shit. That's what Twitter is for
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
She gave me a bj in her parent's kitchen while I ate the rest of her mom's birthday cake. Fuck. Yes.
The front desk girl just had that condescending welcome-home-from-your-walk-of-shame face on
It was probably because you set your bra on the couter while you found your ID...
I'm tired and starving, and I'm pretty sure I just cost the company 33,000 dollars...fuck you and you're "you'll love going to work high" nonsense.
Orientation leader success, day 1: incoming freshman just ate out his first sorority girl. I gave him a 7/10.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It was a good dick. I give credit where credit is due. A good dick deserves praise.
Were not even through the second month of the year and I potentially may have torpedoed a marriage...
So, random question. How much should you tip a Lyft driver when you realized you've fucked his sister? Asking for a friend.
sorry i was ignoring you last night i accidentally did a bunch of pcp and thought i was inside tron
Spencer just told me I got home and was opening beers with my teeth and trying to make pot butter
I’ll always remember that day you sent me that random nude on accident lmao changed my life
Randomize