Without porn, I would have few hobbies.
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
I can't go out tonight. I feel like I'm starting to party as much as Farrah on Teen Mom.
my grandma just put on bowling shoes, to play wii bowling.
She woke up 3 seperate times, each time she had a look of pure terror on her face, she had no clue where she was.
Putting the hydrocodone in Pez dispensers. Do you want Speedy Gonzales or Darth Vader?
Chasing bourbon with pepto... Dedication.
I distinctly remember seeing your nipples from the deck.
All I could think about when I saw her was that she could be the mother of my future first round draft picks
So I'm getting really old. I feel asleep for a booty call that I initiated. The struggle is real.
She was a little thick, but we banged on the beach and fireworks went off as we finished so I think God wanted it
I AM STRANGELY AROUSED BY THIS UNEXPECTED DEVELOPMENT AND I AM COMPLETELY OK WITH THIS.
I just realized that Margarita Wednesdays are so much better now when followed by No Work Thursdays.
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
So apparently I’m into choking now
Randomize
