So there is a chick dressed up in a vagina costume handing out free condoms next to the dude handing out free Bibles and preaching about sin. I love college.
I just learned that your liver regrows itself every 2 months. Best news I've heard all week.
Ihop lady gave me free pancakes for being sober this time
The question is do I invite my fuck buddy to my graduation party now that my girfriend found out about her?
Times like this, when you talk openly about Tinkerbell being your spirit animal, are times when I'm allowed to question your sexuality.
Dude i don't know we had to beg the bouncer to let us in because you were bleeding everywhere and he saw you run into a dumpster
Guess which fraternity was just playing car to car frisbee in the McDonald's drive thru! Did you guess mine?
I beat my mom's friend's boyfriend in a vodka chugging competition. Our generation FTW.
I know. I feel like I should be doing mature responsible adult things though. Like getting loans, working 60 hours every week and not eating burritos in bed, ya know?
I accidentally flashed three cops last night. Stone cold sober.
College has done two things for me. Given me the confidence to blow my nose in public and shit in public
I'm about to have a threesome at the hotel where I had my quinceañera. Becoming a woman under this roof for the second time, whaaat
I don't know how a coffee date turned into road head. But hey
I'm about to do something based solely on the fact that a fortune cookie told me to. This may not end well.
Just shaved my balls on a moving train. By far the most dangerous stunt I've ever pulled
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