I woke up and she had breakfast in bed for me
RUN RUN RUN RUN
If I ever start a band I'm gonna name it "Nancy Reagan's Vagina"
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
im wtih 32a right now bc 34d is on her period. now i know how girls feel when their hookups go from magnums to regulars
We fucked in my basement while hiding from the cops.. And now his Facebook picture is him and others holding up there MIP's in front of my house.. I feel obligated to add him as a friend.
I know. He gave me a hug and i was like jesus i can just feel the std through your sweatshirt
Sincerely would love to tap that, on a mountain with the wind blowing on your pubes .
I woke up at 6am to a knock and a naked guy at my window.
my roommate made out with a guy wearing a squirrel costume, equipped with a blow up tail. time to start harvesting nuts for the winter
We had an in depth conversion about the best way to take a dick pic. Both with and without mirrors.
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
He's gonna be like you slept with too many of my friends and you're being voted off the island haha
My only contacts are booty calls or the club hockey team.
My loniness meter has reached its peak. I just played shadow puppets using my Big Mac on the wall with my cats
Married dude I had an affair with 10yrs ago was at table next to us at dinner last nite. My mom asked him to take a pic of us & then commented how cute he was as they left. Do I tell her he’s got a huge D too?
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