a/c is broke at work...just took my panties off at my desk and the janitor saw it...might have a date for later. let you know
no, its his 'welcome back from rehab' party.
rubbing her clit was like playing thumb war
i don't even want to say how many boners i've caused this week
after we had sex he went grocery shopping. at 6 am. i've never been more confused in my life
Were driving two hours to st louis so we can pee on the arch. See you in the morning. I might be sober by then.
There are bud lights poping out of the zipper of my overnight bag and my dildo almost fell out in the elevator. not professional
do you realize that she was the awkward lesbian in high school and now bangs more girls than probably both of us combined?!
damn. i can't believe how fast that went from 0 to lesbian
"Clean/organize my room day" turned into "Blast my old Jock Jams cds while getting high as fuck with a strobe light day"
I lost half a toenail and didn't realize it. Bloody shoe shoulda been a clue.
when I woke up, he was drunk and singing "soft kitty" and petting my face
Sexting across continents is really a perfect example of how far technology has come.
Wait are we really having an orgy on Tuesday?
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
Randomize
