I'm towing my little brother down the road on a sixty year old tractor, we're taking up the whole highway, and no one cares. I love South Dakota.
You're earring is so big in my mouth
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
What would you have done with a 40 foot neon parrot anyway?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
someone left their shoes, a resume, and a pizza in the shower... i am actually speechless
DO NOT GO IN OUR BATHROOM. it cannot be unseen
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
hey this is Madison. you gave me your number last night and asked me to remind you that you didn't fuck anyone. you okay?
Fell down the metal stairs and some guy tried to fight me after you left. I fell asleep with cadbury eggs in my mouth too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I have a boner and a quesadilla why aren't you here
My mom has had 5 shots of fireball today and she's still functioning normally... She's just extra polite.
Sexiest use of a semi colon this week, congratulations.
Im playing a game I have to take a drink every time my gram asks me the same question hammered by 4 guaranteed
EVEN AFTER ALL THAT COMPLAINING... STILL NO PENIS
They got skeletons in the booths to enforce social distancing.
Thought they were weekend at berniesing that shit at first.
Randomize