ran into someone who graduated hs with us while i was paying for booze in quarters. i love it when people from my past catch me in my classier moments.
everyone who works at gamestop is basically destined to live with their parents for the rest of their lives... so i said no.
Ok forget what i said about christmas break being awful. Chasing shots with fudge
I am drunk at a castle and it isn't even 3. Europe is amazing.
If i need to get strippers involved i will.
I just woke up to pictures of every angle of his dick I'll ever need to see.
One minute we were getting noise complainted by the security guards the next I was shotgunning a beer with them
does the girl puking in my garbage belong to you?
Mystery solved. Def had ice creme last night. There is a melted half eaten ice creme bar next to the bed. Which had melted onto my pillow. That explains why it was in my hair too. Im a fucking sherlock holmes over here.
You asked me to text you at 11 and remind you that he's 33. It's 11:20. He's 33.
you're too late. he has eggnog and whiskey and all seven seasons of buffy. I shan't be coming home tonight
He always finds the good stuff. He's like a truffle pig for bud.
You know it's been awhile when the imagery of fucking AT A DENNY'S gets me really turned on.
I'm gonna have to get a lube sherpa.
Your dick is the only reason I have motivation to come back to school today
The air tonight was full of shame when we saw each other.
Well if u wouldn't have had sex on the front porch last night I think that could have been avoided.
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