I hraet yuo
did you say you heart me or hate me?
who is this?
Today in psych we learned that you are a whore.
Me specifically?
Yep.
Well I scaled a 3 story building last night to get laid. What have u done for ur penis lately?
oh god all I remember is forward rolls down the corridor and all I have to show for it is "fit Romanian guy" saved in my phone
i was debating whether to load antoher bowl when i realized i was holding a sandwich in one hand and a cookie in the other. and laughing.
My 16 year old neighbor is throwing a rager cuz her parents are out of town and my brother and I are sitting on the porch listening to A) someone fuck on the trampoline B) a girl bawling about her parents finding out C) someone puking in what we think is the hot tub. And overall we take a shot everytime someone says "bra"
They kept barging in on us saying random shit. At one point they came in yelling room service! and threw soda at us bruising my foot. Weirdest injury I have gotten during sex.
I fell on my face, puked, and had to be rocked to sleep in a hammock. I'd say Europe is a success
I know we said we never would. But try fucking a fat guy. He put in so much more effort and then made me waffles.
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
You got banned for life from a $30 a night motel. What are you doing with your life?
I guess "hi, I know your mom, she taught me in high school" is an effective pickup line
He said a lot of nice things about me, it was really uncalled for.
Ever been to a strip club with one stripper? I have. And she sucked.
Her pegging playlist is all heavy metal so stay away if you wanna keep your ass intact
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