wow wtf my bar tab was 80 dollars
IT WAS DOLLAR BEER NIGHT
If there was chocolate on Regis Philban's dick, I would totally lick it off. That's how desperate I am for some right now.
I know I'm not learning anything when I can't even spell the name of the class I'm taking
I gave up sex for lent.
I guess that means I'm postponing our date until after Easter.
I wish we were homeless so drinking on the streets was acceptable.
My complete lack of self respect has really improved my blow job technique
besides im still about 80% sure that im eskimo brothers with jerry springer
I have no valid justification for peeing in your kitchen, but I don't think it's worth breaking up over.
He licked the chalk off his shirt, then spat the Mountain Dew from his mouth onto the shirt and sucked on it. And thats him sober.
And now whenever I see a documentary about dolphins, I think about sex, which is super weird
So, I'm a little drunk in Seattle with Glenna, but we've all agreed that it's patriotic to think about Bill Clinton from time to time during sex. 'Merica
Running my fingers through my hair is like that scene from Patch Adams where the girl goes swimming in a pool of spaghetti. I love molly.
Well yeah. Plus. My dick looks awful. So I would need to do some extreme makeover dick edition before even starting something so ridiculous.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
I AM OFFICIALLY LICENSED TO BE A LESBIAN
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