Hahahhahaha! Oooh get it! Ugh I am so dead but if I go to the lib whuich I will hopefully b havung sex instead, ill hit u up
im learning from these one night stands last time i came in her this time i came on her AND deleted every contact in her phone!
I wish there was a Glade Plug-in for vaginas
Just saw an Asian kid crash into the bike rack with his bike. I love sitting outside the engineering building.
last night they convinced you that a sharpie was a new style of chap stick... so when you wake up, you might want to do something about that
standing in line at subway, they've got 'stand up and get crunk' blaring. the lines out the door and everyone is dancing. Lombardi Gras rules.
as she was beating the hell out of his ex, she screamed prison rules, and smashed her head with a beer bottle. I'm oddly afraid yet so attracted to her now.
Why is there a keg in our kitchen? I'm not complaining but why is there a keg in our kitchen?
you are going to have to live with the consequences, i'm going to fuck your sister
I'm venturing to your corner of this sin house in t minus 2 minutes.
Free tacos and bad night are never used in the same sentence
I still can't believe he came down from his hiding place in the tree voluntarily because he didn't want us to have to talk to the cops alone...
A group of drunk Marines just serenaded me, never leaving this place
Why do I always end up with closet ICP fans?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
