Holy fuck. She looks like Vin Diesel's stuntman
After the tests come back negative, you guys will look back on this evening with fond memories...
My face is bruised from laying on the concrete. NO MORE VODKA!
You were petting your shoe and saying this makes me really happy
Umm I need a rain check. Long story short is I have scabies. Research it if you want. I'll tell you everything another time soon, I promise.
Okay, lets just agree to keep all cutlery related activities to a minimum.
Just grabbing my bra from a history teacher's desk in the Humanities building. Maybe I should stop drinking on weeknights
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
it was fucking weird. cops showed up but they appreciated our 3 story bong. and then some girl tried to steal our cheese and butter
Pierced my own nipple last night, and yes everyone did go absolutely nuts
i'm not drunk or reckless enough to have you track my every fucking move. I AM AN ADULT
just got permission to expense a nerf gun
sweet Jesus, who thought 13 martinis was a good idea? 11 was probably sufficient.
So I crawled off the trampoline to puke in the neighbors yard. Wonderful house guest right here
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
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