Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
we just did breakfast shots, I have a black eye and savage garden is on . Best weekend ever
It's a long way off yet but I've started planning my eviction party. Be prepared, it includes jungle juice.
Its 11am, im in the city in a pocahontas outfit, lost a heel and found a gold rolex in my lingerie.
I think you're going to have to drive me to white haven. I don't know if my brain can handle having my mom drop me off at a strip club.
yep you were here saturday. if you woke up smelling like vanilla i can explain.
Last night was just one giant freudian slip.
You made out with EVERYBODY.
Can I just bleach my life?
She's the worst person, but the best naked person
He handcuffed himself to the keg... D is hooking up with him anyway.
I have just been informed that my company has ray guns. I WORK FOR ACTUAL BOND VILLAINS. THIS IS NOT A DRILL.
who knew magic tricks and sex would actually go together?
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
you better come over.. I need a witness to help prove the couch talks to me
I woke up with leftover chocolate syrup on my nipples. WTF happened last night??
Will you PLEASE get your mom to stop telling me I'd make a great husband? She knows I'm gay, right?!
I know, but she really likes you. Have you met my brother yet?
Randomize
