Hey kate, how is it?
sloppy...it's emily. kate just tried to do a keg stand. they dropped her. we're leaving.
i feel like i want to date him just so i could be besties with his penis
What are the odds of finding the one hot Australian dude with erecile dysfunction?
Somebodaw call 311 postw fire bunso on vietena floorwnkd
This is most sickening thing I've ever seen, and I threw up my body weight in jello shots on my birthday.
Quick! What do I wear on a 4 hour road trip with an older guy in the army I had pantomime sex with in a hotel a few months ago?
Thanks for the viagra you gave me last night. I ended up getting called in to work to cover a shift. So I had to tell Kayla that I couldn't hang out and I had to try and hide my dick all night while walking serving people food all night.
then looked at this little girl next to me and was like "don't drink when you get older and don't let your best friend be with assholes." she looked at me like i was crazy
He called me twice and texted me at 3am. Guess absence makes the dick grow harder.
She found the planted magnum condom..once she figured it out it was too late.
For new year's, we should just keep our resolution simple and keep accomplishing burpees in heels.... while drunk.
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
Let's just say it was like a porno version of Aladdin....
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
Have you ever woken up and said a thank you prayer to the beer gods for allowing you to wake up in the morning and still have the ability to walk and talk? Because we should.
Randomize
