Forgive me I'm always horny when I wake up
Its 6am. Um if my mom for some reasons asks, you stopped by my house around ten and had some wine with me. She is concerned I drank a whole bottle by myself. Woke me at 6am to interrogate..Thank god my pounding head thinks fast.
PS We had chips too. She is less concerned about the whereabouts of the chips but still a good lie always needs detail.
The wedding was scheduled to start 5 min. ago. 20 people here so far, groomsmen in tees and jeans, catering by Costo. NO ONE OUR AGE IS READY FOR MARRIAGE!
This is so fucking sad. Netherlands isn't even a real country.
are we at that level where i can tell you your girlfriends tits looked really good yet?
You have to wear the princess leia gold bikini every Sunday
i think i broke my dog last night...fuck
Also, any YOLOwl-related sex photos will result in you winning ten orgasms, courtesy of myself, as well as sweets and bacon-based dinner. All entrants welcome
Is it normal that every guy I hook up with tells me my hair is sexy as it's happening? Like that can't be normal
That time we were having sex when you were super drunk, I kept yelling out, "Oh God," and you said, "You're going to need him after this." Idk why I suddenly thought of that.
I think I almost ran over some kid I went to high school with. Guilt factor: moderate to low.
Not at all! I'll let your potential employer know you have a huge dick
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
Randomize
