i jhust puked up my retainher.
Just saw 2 very young girls abandon baby buggys in the Xwalk to fight. Gotta love Holyoke.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
We really need to stop competing to see who can get more drunk, and I REALLY need to stop winning.
Everytime I am with a guy I hope his penis is as big as yours. It never is. Thanks for setting that bar.
I broke his nose at the bar and he still went home with me.
And dont forget my 23rd birthday where with no underwear i crawled through the cage of the police car. Dont get drunk be fore you get drunk.
High as shit. I just described caramel syrup on crackers to my mom for 15 minutes...
I feel like if anyone knew what an affection erection looked like it would be you
Drunk Jeff aka Dreff thinks he's about 3x cooler than be really is and about 100x better at dancing than he really is
If there's one thing I learned yesterday, it's that if I really wanted to I could be mayor of Toronto.
I don't know man, I woke up and shes here acting like she knows me, wearing my clothes, and scrambling eggs in my kitchen. I don't know her.
You were drinking with me last night, I warned you.
what do we think the timeline is for when your liver will begin to revolt against your drinking habits?
i just found a lighter in my bra... from last night, and its 7:43pm...
It was a successful conference for my sales and my sex life. Those are probably related
Randomize
