I got called a slut by a bunch of girls that work at Hooters..wtf is that shit? explain that to me
My dad just sent me a text telling me to "say hi to all the luscious bitches" at the gay bar. Guess this explains my childhood
I have had it with that bitchy sack of crazy. Iam done!
Yeah he kicked my ass... He probably wouldnt have hit me as hard though if I wasnt lauging and yelling " I fucked your sister I fucked your sister" over and over again.
im honestly just eating salsa and looking at his penis
I can hear her blowing you man. All I hear is her saying 'yeah' over and over again.
My cock is literally on the edge of falling off. Fuck Vegas.
it was not a walk of shame, it was a ferry ride of shame, and i'm not ashamed, so technically it was just an early morning ferry ride. wearing yesterday's clothing
and semen
Walked back to my room from the bus last night and all I see is 3 of my friends on the porch chugging whiskey and then throwing up in unison
It's like refusing a bong hit from michael phelps... You just can't do it
wellllllll.... I literally just puked in my mouth so perhaps this is not the epic love connection I believed it to be 3 minutes ago.
I have invented a new game to play on campus. It's called "Mormons or Pledges?" It's fantastic.
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
My ex is having a baby and I'm over here planning my dogs birthday celebration...
When is the party?
dude i told her that I loved her...and she said, " go fuck yourself"
Randomize
