the semester is winding down: time to procrastinate by googling cheap keg options
Everytime I know she spent a lot of time on her hair for one of our dates, I intentionally cum on the top of her head. That's how she knows I pay attention.
Still not exactly sure how i unbolted your toilet from the ground.
As i lay in bed, clutching my face, i'm starting to believe your dick in my eye story.
PS August 29 of last year was when you ran over my foot. Facebook just reminded me.
cheese fries, coffee, with a side of dry heaving in the bathroom at the diner on campus at 5am. never felt better.
you're being fucking weird and i don't like it. text me when you're not being the after picture on a poster for rehab
We found him in the backyard throwing shoes onto the roof yelling "WHO BRINGS CROCS TO A HOUSE PARTY?!"
I gave you a piece of bread to sober you up. You wiped your face off with it and then gave it back to me.
I just want brownies and waffles and someone to lick my tits
Came so hard when I was riding him that I actually bit some of his chest hair off. He said I was the first girl ever to do THAT.
but you were the sluttiest panda there and you need to embrace it
Checking out a dudes' nachos instead of the dude #foreveralone
As a friend tho, you have the biggest dick I've ever seen
So I woke and tried to get up. Then I realised my foot was stuck in the pocket of the pool table.
Randomize
