Living right is spending a lot of time in someone's ass
I still can't believe I found a dildo in my ceiling today.
how do i word it so it doesnt sound like im asking him if he has ever been in jail.
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just ate applesauce I laced with percocets for dinner. I'm pretty sure my grandmother does the same thing.
He's fat, has man boobs, and is uncircumsized. I feel like I won the last woman on earth prize.
He is the Donovan McNabb of stuff up his ass. Tell me that tomorrow. Too high to remember.
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
In need of cum proof mascara. Don't judge me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
We were messing around at his place it was going fine until he said, "I'm going to cum, hand me the shot glass"
If there was a tv show called "True Life: My 58 Year Old Dad Rolls Better J's Than Me" I'd be on it.
I feel like I should acknowledge that I see you as a human and not a ragdoll sex object
I have "if found please return to" written in sharpie on my arm, my uterus is rejecting everything, and I have hickies. I must actually be an 18 year old piece of shit girl instead of a responsible 23 year old
Dude mama brought home the bacon, i got his HBO account i guess that makes up for his by par skills in bed.
I'm too horny to sleep. I need some violent sex to wind me down.
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