Dude, she's so old there's a chalk outline where her reproductive organs used to be.
It was like my butthole was peeing. Felt comforting yet not fulfilling.
you're the one who masterbates every night to the titanic soundtrack
Let's pretend this is a good idea before I change my mind.
i just woke up to 15 people singing a whole new world
I returned the dress. When they asked for the reason for return I said, 'I don't deserve to wear white'.
Ummm I just broke my no puke streak at church
I definitely made out with a high school student last night while his sister and my brother were in the same room. I think we're all traumatized by the situation.
all time personal low: room service guy going "You want french fries AND onion rings???"
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
To give you an idea, there's a group upstairs trying to break down a door with their fists and heads.
I think anything that happens between 12 and 2 am is just sketchy enough to be a good idea.
We could have a classy candlelight sonic dinner with fireball cocktails if you leave now. Twat tickler centerpieces.
Vomit your little heart out. You've got a long day tomorrow
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
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