I'm going to shit on something weird... I can't wait
you drank a bottle of vodka and then while throwing up in my toilet you kept reminding me our hs reunion was in 2 yrs and it was time to start getting thin again anyway
once the "do it" chant starts, any shot at an even remotely dignified party experience is dead.
I guess I puked all over my hand too and I just looked at my roommate and said, "fix this."
Everyone knows relationships are a winter sport
The fact that he just came out makes his Lent commitment to give up gay sex so much more meaningful now.
Do I need to take a photo of my sister's enlarged and disgustingly dark nipples to scare you into protection? DO I?
I started rolling down the window so he pulled into a gas station and i puked all over the side of the car while some dude stared at me. I waved and we drove away
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
My gynecologist got a full view of the obviously bite marked shaped bruises on my thighs. I just kept talking about work and hoped she wouldn't judge me.
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
Well right but if we go, he may just disappear for a long time into the unknown with the drag queens.
I'm honestly considering asking her if I can eat her out, as a friend.
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
Wanna go get tea? Warning: I will be high in an hour.
Randomize
