so that wasnt chicken after all
Proposition. Sex. No words, no talking about it later. I just want you tonight.
Apparently I called 911 everytime Sean Kingston told me to
It's summer and yet I still can't have one library session w/o seeing someone who has had their penis in me.
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
For when you/if you wake up tomorrow.. You broke 4 of the bar's glasses tonight and I am currently watching you as you ride the broom around the bar instead of cleaning up your mess. I am no longer able to come up with excuses for you.
Well Apparently I went to piss out my window last night, woulda been ok if I opened the window or the blinds.
I'm unsure as to how you were able to snapchat me with your hands duck taped to beer, but I appreciated it nonetheless.
How drunk is "too drunk" for candlelight service?
How the fuck did I get back? Last thing I remember is being on some hot guy's shoulders yelling at girls shaking their asses
We'll talk about it later...
And to add, there was a fat guy right next to me who, when the girls would shake their butts, he would let out a shrill xena warrior princess cheer
I woke up on my girls floor with a pound of muenster cheese in my shirt pocket
How do you feel about a threesome?
Will you be there?
I'm the one asking!
My cats name is now jello shot. How much do you love me right now?
We're about to get drunk and it feels wrong without you
Randomize
