the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
just a forewarning-if you come home and hang out with your stupid girlfriend the entire time that you are here/fail to get wasted with us i will wish either death upon you or that you truly do turn gay when you return to the navy.
The best part was that when i tried to chase her she ran off in one of those barbie motorized jeeps that little kids use and i chased her on a big wheel, thru lincoln terrace
just met our mailman at a party, he asked me out. i said yes, but only if he picks me up in the mail truck. how jealous are you
Nothing better then your mother meeting someone you randomly had sex with and him introducing himself as the guy who rocked her world once.
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
they told me her nickname is "wizard sleeve"
pick me up NOW
Are you seriously gonna shit with that life vest on?
then out of nowhere we heard a voice yell "Fuck that pussy!"
One blow job doesn not make me gay.
I really gotta be careful. My email inbox is equal parts notifications from instructors and this dude's dick. If I get drunk and reply to the wrong thing I might get kicked out of grad school.
who knew my inner goddess was such a whore
Did you ever think you lost your bong and then you find it in the weirdest place? I mean, who leaves their bong in the shower?
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
wait. i have to tell u something. and it has nothing to do with dildos or spiders
Randomize
