You did that once after drunk driving from a photo shoot
That was very cool/italian of you
Which brings me to my next point, how come italians are so well adapted to drunk driving
Karaoke makes my soul die one wretched song at a time
friends don't let friends hook up with gingers.
Any particular reason you put 2 smashed up limes in my back pocket last night?
he stopped mid-fuck to ask me how my day was....
this episode of spongebob makes me wish crabby patties were real
I am not deleting the internet history anymore, now I am going for shock value.
There is a drunk marine passed out on my porch. Mandy wouldn't sleep with him, Can you please come remove him?
He's both a cowboy and a firefighter. Saying "no" was not an option.
I'm gonna go to bars and pick up women hopped up on democracy.
I have a half pound of weed, a case of beer, 8 frozen pizzas and a hard dick. You have a high tech super-bong and a chest of sex toys. That's our vacation week right there.
So it's safe to say that it's all down hill from here
Do you mean easy livin or downward spiral of alcoholism and disappointment
Date #3: He brought me a mason jar full of organic weed that he grew on his property. Will you be the witness when we sign our marriage license?
coming down from speed on a 5 hour flight home from vegas is not a valid reason for calling off work the next day
so i said i had a yeast infection
Thanks for the reference. If your boss hires me, I'll buy you a drink.
If my boss hires you, I'm going to need it.
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