david just texted me. reply with photo of genitalia? y/n
I wish there was a morning after pill that made you instantly sober
Just had to explain to a senior manager why I had duct tape residue on my wrist and hand. This weekend was a success.
Yes theres a double standard. Get over it. Fuck the critics and go be the slut you were born to be
No, I've only ever seen his brother's dick. So when I have lucid sex dreams, I just do a little cut and paste in my mind and stick his bro's package onto him.
he has decreed that i can sleep with anyone who has the same name as him. line up all the toms
Using a 12 year old as a wingman. Does that make me a bad person?
I woke up naked except for someone else's socks. Im so proud
I said "I am wrapped in the Cocoon Of Comfort! You should go." He started to argue and I yelled "COCOON OF COMFORT!!!" silencing him
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Okay so I'm high eating chili cheese fries bra-less watching Mulan, could I be doing any better at life right now?
It's been two whole weeks and I haven't missed a single class. I deserve 69 blunts.
He managed to rip my nipple last night....
dude new orleans is fucking wild these two guys just performed dueling banjos except they were actually fighting with the banjos
Is it weird that my mother is taking body shots off my gf after meeting once?
Randomize
