yeah. pants. i need to put pants on. i didn't do that last night. big mistake
i felt horrible..i wanted to somehow give him his vcard back
that's a non refundable transaction sweetheart
Ps if we're still living vicariously through each other, you had sex on a beach last night
Woke up laying in the kitchen floor with a cup in one hand and the beer tap in the other. Guess I just needed that one last beer.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Some guy just stopped me in the bar and asked if I had a shot named after me at another bar called God damn my VaJana hurts? He already knew my name was Jana so I couldn't deny it!
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
We found him in the neighbors shed using a bicycle as a blanket. We just left him there.
I think I just cured my dogs munchies
But that background check said 51...Omg. If I hooked up with someone that's my dads age.....
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
he came during what was supposed to be the foreplay blowjob. there goes my evening.
I literally cut myself out of my pants. What is my life.
The only time we had a decent conversation was when he was on acid, and, like, that's not a great start to a relationship.
If you hear death cries, thats me singing. Just let me be.
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
I TAUGHT HER CAT TO SIT. CATS DON'T FUCKING SIT ON COMMAND. BUT THIS ONE DID!
It's basically my crowning achievement.
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