You're the unicorn of the gay community. Unbelievable and unattainable.
worms taste like bacon by the way.
I always wondered what they tasted like.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
i wont go near him until the smell goes away , and he takes the chex mix box off his head.
I'm sorry to inform you but your friends with benefits card has expired has the beginning of the year. If you wish to renew your card you must submit a picture of a fully erect penis. Please note that not all request for a FWB card is accepted.
Life for us students isn't all fun and drunken lesbian affairs you know
I feel like I have heartburn in my nipples.
We ended up debating which Food Network host would do best in porn.
cocks speak louder than words, as they say
Nobody says that.
The drag queen we did coke with is going to be on Ru Paul's drag race. I feel so proud.
Just woke up from a dream where I had lesbian sex with myself (a clone of me)... Take that, Freud!
He's getting Easter eggs filled with weed or Jell-O shots for his birthday
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
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