I'll listen to your side of the story when you stop being such a whore.
he kept bringing up different times we had sex and i wouldnt say anything back. i would never confirm nor deny the situation...like a politician ya kno
Just got to costco. Where are you?
Liquor aisle, bring another cart.
There are not one, but two women wearing my boxers on the couch right now. You need to wake the fuck up.
She literally just cut half her hair off because she's tired of asking someone to hold it back when shes drunk and puking.
Is it some european holiday today? We both woke up to find loaves of bread in our rooms...
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
I'm wearing a utility belt filled with alcohol
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
My mom just called hysterical. She and her sister found my dead grandma's vibrator.
The apple don't fall far from that tree.
You could sing the national anthem right before we have sex. Make it feel like a sporting event
Worst case scenario- he paid me for sex with meatloaf. There are worse thing, right? I mean at least is was good meatloaf.
Riding your boyfriend's dick for an hour then waitressing for 8 hours. Would not recommend.
Dude, I got drunk and sexted his little sister by accident
These girls next to us are doing shots called bath salts. Sadly this is the classiest bar I've been to since i moved to PA
Randomize
