I just put anything in between my legs and hope for the best.
there needs to be a build-a-bong store...
My roommate was eating ketchup out of a bowl. Get me the hell out of here.
we can't become the bulimic house in the complex dude. Besides, you need teeth for your career.
Okay my swimming class is like the fatass/diabetic guide to losing 2 pounds by christmas
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
That just sounds like a recipe for sex in my backyard. Yes.
When the question of, do you know who's ass has been on the cake you are eating is said... Good or bad party?
I seriously don't understand how you keep getting laid.
Because I'm like the spider of false hope. I spin elaborate tales and snare them in my web of utter disappointment. They soon realize their mistake, but by then it's too late.
Get your ass over here, we're drinking Patron and watching My Little Pony. Patron and Ponies, do you copy?!
he's a fucking beast. people that don't even know him have started calling him "puke and raleigh"
Never thought I'd say this, but getting head from a skeleton was better than I thought. Happy Halloween
I'M SORRY THIS WAS SEXTING AND I MADE IT SERIOUS.
On another note I am sitting in my bed naked, buzzed, and working on a notecard for my 8:00am test tomorrow. I think I need to make better choices.
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
Randomize
