well, tey weren't taking lap dances as payment today
I havnt been this mad since the coche de Los murtos incident
Then they all walked away with the drinks I bought them, and the fat one slapped me in the face. I left and my car had been towed. Worst night ever.
Just saw a dude in a banana costume get beat down by a one shoed black dude wearing a kilt...paninis is such a shit show after 10 on a Saturday
Just got a free shot w my beer...it's not quite 11am yet...I love international travel. These people aren't judgmental.
I wrote my name on his balls in sharpie. In the homosexual world that's like a diamond ring. Shits permanent.
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
She asked for her virginity back. I don't know what to say
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
Just realized I've gone to court three different times with papers and a joint roller in my briefcase. #lawyeroftheyear
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
He changed the password on his Netflix account. The break up is official.
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Sorry about the confusion with the nudes last night that was rude
Randomize
