She made a list of the things each of us had done wrong and assigned a point system. Guess who came out the loser?
I was giving him a blow job in the kitchen, but it was uncomfortable. so i took the oven mitts and used them as knee pads.
Don't tell me i'm not fucking resourceful.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
defrosting a beer in the microwave. no sparks so far.
Your braces fetish is going to end up biting you in the dick.
I didnt realize we were having a competition in poor decision making skills
how else could I explain the last few years
OH AND DAN PET MY CAT WHILE I WAS GIVING HIM HEAD
Don't they also have a lot of serious head injuries?
I didn't say I wanted to marry one of them. Or that I want one to perform surgery on me. I just want to have hot, dirty, MMA style sex.
I'm so hungover that I just wrote up my will because I'm afraid I'm gonna die. I'm leaving you my bong.
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
I see the guy who's been trying to get me to let him eat my ass became engaged on Facebook today; would framed screen shots be an appropriate wedding present?
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
He showed up soaking wet with a flashlight and a ping pong ball. I couldn't say no
Well we've always known you have a weakness for guys with balls in their hands
I'm sorry i showed you my boobs.. I probably shouldn't have done that.
I'm just too horny to handle empty house
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