Dude I just figured out the mystery flavor of airhead is vodka sprite, no way i'm wrong
Did you just see the Batmobile???
I just wanna buy a tempur-pedic so i can drink in bed and not spill
I'm celebrating tres de junio so if you can help me find some sombreros ill be grateful. Also, today in 1992 Aborigines were granted rights to their land so I might need some boomerangs.
All his texts have the signature of a date with a smile. I asked him what it means. IT'S THE DAY HE QUIT DOING DRUGS
we boned then he told me that he had a thing for my gay roommate. worst night ever
creepy tank top guy is at campus health. he's hitting on a girl recovering from a panic attack.
Am I the only one creeped out by the guy asleep behind our couch?
Somewhere along the night we ended up at a food lion giving jello shots to high school girls.
Of course he did. He is like the oprah winfrey for vaginas. Always giving that shit away.
Yeah. It's a great diet plan tho. Just have sex every time you get hungry.
Yeah, you went up to him and said "I stare at people until they feel obligated to talk to me."
How do you say "thats kinda illegal" in thai?
I'm eating lunchables with a glass of wine while I FaceTime the guy I lost my virginity to.
I know right, I would blow him just for the satisfaction he would taste like vodka
Randomize
