it was worse than that time i tried giving evan head 4 days post nose job.
you dont publicly announce someones alcholism over facebook. you dont out someone like that.
Just heard the new 'We are the world' ... Can I get my 10 bucks for Haiti back?
I woke up naked in his kitchen...His name is Mike and we're having a "what happened last night" beer.
stuck in a tree...bring a ladder. also my arm might be broken. no questions are allowed.
It got messy; I did a shot of seamonkeys.
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
Alls I wanted was a fun New Years but I end up fingering a geico sales representative on a futon and giving her a ride to work the next morning
Hey sorry for calling you so much last night. I mixed your number with the pizza guys, and he was running late
The dude is a cop how would I ever date a cop I wouldn't be able to talk about the first TWENTY-SEVEN years of my life!
It's not as funny as it sounds. I shit myself at the company Christmas party.
I'll never lecture you, go get that dick baby girl make momma proud,I didn't raise no quitter
Woke up at 5am in an elevator... Pretty much tells you how my weekend went.
Randomize
