so are u like ashamed lol?
not really. i dont look at it as being homeless. im just going to pretend im on an extended camping trip
Is it bad that when I see ugly people make out, I hope he's impotent?
THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
All I heard was "I swear it'll be funny" and then we were in jail.
I'm pretty sure I told everyone in the bar I hadn't had sex in five months. And then I offered everyone calamari.
I am the worst sexter. i actually told him .. if i had a penis, it would be hard right now. BTW thats a turn off.
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
Directions to your booty call: go down the part of Route 66 that has all the car dealerships, motels and bad decisions, go past the Christian college and turn left at the Children's Center.
The problem with having sex on the couch is that your blanket ends up in the laundry and you're left cold on the couch the next day.
I only had ten dollars. So leave it to Katie to somehow makeout with the bartender, on his shift mind you, and get free drinks.
My only regret this past weekend is abusing only 3 substances when I could have done so much more.
I just puked in my courtyard and dripped toothpaste in my chest hair. You better be getting laid or this drunk is wasted.
I got my nipples pierced. If you haven't seen my boobs in the past week, you're among the minority
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
Left my wallet at the store. Wouldn't have noticed if the joint I just rolled wasn't in it.
Randomize
