alcohol turns me into mario batali of easy mac
In an effort to go green, I just used rainwater to fill my bong.
Santa Clause just drove by me on a fire truck. Epic night begins.
after I pulled back my foreskin she said, "cool like a transformer". I really like her now.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
just threw up in the bus full of other international students just outside of boulder, just keeping the aussie reputation alive
The cab driver was nice enough to let you finish your beer in the car, but you crossed the line when you started to pee in the empty bottle
So my nipple piercings were only $20 because it's breast cancer awareness month. Fuck yes!
Hurry there's four guys dressed up as a bachelorette party, one has a condom veil and the rest are selling candy bouquets and asking if anyone wants to get laid for $5
Which outfit says "I'm sorry for your loss but we're still banging later"?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Highlight of my night: you taking that shot of garlic butter and then throwing the empty container down on the stairs and saying FUCK.
Who the fuck cries when they're stoned?!
Sorry man I just really wanted a McChicken
Is it too early in the day to ask a nipple-related question?
Wait, cocaine is okay but tanning isn't?
Once he bit me I drew the fucking line.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
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