If I was on drugs, this would be amazing
Her parents hate her and she's on like major lockdown. All her friends are in jail and she has massive pit stains. Dude... It doesn't get much worse than that.
that would be two times in a week with two different guys.
they have the same name so it only counts as one guy right?
woke up this morning to find the entire staircase covered in marinara sauce, with my roommate practically sobbing and scrubbing the wall with carpet cleaner.
Walking down the street trying to find the pants I had on last night
I don't know if I'm feeling really nervous right now or just extremely horny.
it is basically gonna be an ugly Christmas sweater rave
I'll give you some choices for what to get me for Christmas. 1.You naked. 2.You naked 3.You naked.
I'm sitting at dinner with my family looking over sexts. The thirst is far too real. They're talking about retail and I'm like haha, yes, you are all correct.
If he doesn't give you the same feelings you get when the pizza guy arrives, he's probably not worth it.
Called my house today and my 10 year old brother answered and asked if I was still in jail
Stay positive! You think people like sad vaginas? NO! You'll get some!
His roommate walked in then asked "well did you at least finish". What a way to start your birthday
No it's a real cult, with original ideas and shit like that
Like pizza and mermaids make up about 1/3 of my thoughts on the weekends.
Randomize
