Yo I'm just eating dinner now. U ready to go out?
Ya ya. Where you eating?
Cereal and beer. U kno u want in.
Operation extremely regretful is in full effect
Braces and a neon one piece. She looks 15.
i'm in love
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
woke up in Sigma Chi. In his room. they are iniating pledges right now. Holy fucking shit mother of pearl.
He just told me he's been drinking vodka at work all day. I'm starting to believe in soul mates.
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
You texted me "Americans are sad" and "chicken coop disaster" without any further explanation.
The staff doesn't like it when you try and take your wheelchair for a joy ride since I've been waiting for an hour and a half.
See, it wasn't that I broke my nose having sex. Its that I forgot about the bedposts...
We just had father kitten bonding time .. I was on the toilet , he was climbing the animal print shower curtain . It was magical
She mentions her boyfriend one more time, I'm taking her home and breaking that shit up.
Mom has wine in a to go cup. It's that kind of night.
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
Uhm I have a bottle of tequila, a gallon of orange juice, and leggings. Now ask me again how hard im going? And that doesn't cover tomorrow.
Randomize
