I told my girl, that I use to jerk off to Star Trek. All she says is, "Oh my gawd, you're such a trekie!". If I was her, I'd be weirded out more than me being a Trek Fan.
I had a dream that I had 21 friend requests. it was the best day
today he pulled me aside to show me a lawn mower that he drew above his pubes. I saw his pubes in all their glory. Right there. In spanish class. Hola.
the owner gave me a free bottle of vodka and a 12pack of red bull if i agreed to leave. my drunken antics are finally paying off.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
Alright, deal. Settling two drug deals before noon is what I call a productive day. I'm not even gonna go to math, I've practiced enough numbers for the day.
Nope if you can't be there for me emotionally, then my vagina can't be there for you physically. That's my rule.
Drank a beer through my butt, how's your initiation going?
If I hid at school to avoid the cops, is it fleeing and evading or just being a good student?
If our sexual relationship was relative to the Harry Potter series, I would have claimed the Wizard's Cup at least ten times.
i just remember that i was on top of him and he wasnt contributing to the event much.. god i hope he wasnt asleap.
Well he had a nice beard and it smelled good so there was no way I wasn’t going home with him.
She can't take shots?!? Literally if I could list that as a skill on a resume I would
i want to say his dick was in it but not his heart
I will bring Jesus to court if he punishes me for that
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