another moral hangover. fuck.
When are you freeeeeeeeee?
My phone auto corrected that to freeeeeeeeeedoooooooooom. That's kinda awesome.
I take no responsibility of who alcohol hooks up with using my body!
this kid in class is playing minesweeper and just slammed the desk because he lost. thank god were normal.
good luck with ur interview. Just show them your confidence and don't make that sucking snot noise. Really don't. Praying for you, love mom
We hooked up with his aunt passed out next to us. It was just like old times.
Also we decided you're the person whose going to die at my bachelor party...do the math you're the most logical choice
Just so you know you don't have to worry about me picking up any guys tonight. The Hilton is hosting guests from the North American Gay Volleyball Association and the Comic Palooza
Tip of the day: Don't ever send a bootycxall at 3 in aftnoon. No one will respond n u'll just feel fooolish.
I text him "Dude. Tryna get fucked here. I only have half the parts. I need your help" I'm sure my mom would be super proud of the woman I have become.
The party invite said "this ain't no lame stoplight party, you come to hookup or you don't come" I feel like their honesty deserves out attendance
Not to mention having our pick at the ensuing sausagefest
I just found my lube on the ground next to my bed. I would pay money to find out what the fuck happened that night.
Getting paid in weed to watch a pregnant adult with cooking skills is the TITS
I'm going to draw something on my chest and I need to incorporate my nipples. Any ideas?
So what we learned was that it doesn't matter how skinny the stripper is, if she sits on your knee with a torn acl for two hours it's going to swell up
Randomize
