All I've ever wanted to do in life is right
Maybe you should learn how to spell write first
The kid in front of me is videochatting and typing to his gf. I should make poop/sex faces over his shoulder, right?
Mowing drunk should be an olympic sport...
She had a maple leaf tattoo behind her ear and told me she liked my "playoff beard".
Only in Canada would your laziness be applied to hockey and rewarded.
First I must say that I am disappointed to learn that you knowingly have trashy friends with whom you've not hooked me up.
I really thought you were going to tell me you were pregnant on facebook chat. FACEBOOK CHAT. I almost cried.
He's not actually Jewish. Turns out he just wears the yarmulke to cover his bald spot.
Was it you who made out with a toothless guy last night?
If the world ends now I want you to know I was on my favorite toilet fighting the good fight.
You're dating a nurse! That's smart, you never know when you'll have a medical emergency. Probably liver failure.
I built a fence. For the bunnies we're going to adopt. I'll fill you in when you get home.
I am laying in your bed and just found a bottle of wine under your pillow ...should have married you...
well all i have to say, besides fuck you, is YOU try assembling ikea shelves while high on molly.
BUT YOU GOTTA TASTE THE RAINBOW!!
That's what Skittles are for!
I resent the implication of a jizz addiction
Randomize
