he just said he was sorry he wasnt been able to come by more often coz things are really crazy with that girl
you mean his girlfriend
Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
is it still called a breakup if its your friends boyfriend that you have stopped sleeping with?
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
He threw up, and left his credit card next to the puddle. He kept on saying he wanted to pay for the damages.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
I just want to like fall into a pit of hot wings beside a keg of yingling and eat my way to freedom
His name was Kyle but I insisted on calling him baby Jesus all night and then we did a line and he bought me Taco Bell so idk
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I’m a women at a strip club dressed as post Malone
just had sex in a stairwell with six feet five inches worth of drama
I came twice and when I was done I petted his head and said "you did good kid you did good" and just laid back smiling. Tell me I'm not awesome.
just showered sitting down cuz standing seemed like too much work, thursdays need to stop making me their bitch.
I may have made out with your roommate and your cousin tonight. In my defense I thought both of them were your cousin.
Randomize
