talk about how much treatments for your hpv hurts
i just sat at a stop sign for 10 minutes waiting for it to turn green. i need to STOP SMOKING THIS SHIT.
he's afraid if he sleeps with me i'll go all lavender brown on him
is it true you fucked a yoga instructor last night??! ..and let me know if you want me to post that question on your facebook so kelly can see how happy you are without her
mimosa in my stainless steel water bottle. going green is not that bad.
and then they started calling me 'Shitshow Shandra', which apparently i took as a compliment.
im standing in line right now while the 711 manager calls other locations to see if they have the john cena collectors slurpee cup in stock...yep i need to get laid
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I opened my door to find him standing there with vodka, McDonalds, a smile and a hard-on. Of course I let him in.
He started screaming "fuck me I'm Ryan Gosling" and proceeded to pick up the smallest guy at the party and carry him to bed.
he busted into the room with single cheese slices and started yelling "THROW SOME CHEESE ON THAT BITCH"
He fucks like those drill things that you see when you think of texas
Still trying to figure out where I was when someone broke the lawn chair and put it in the bathroom.
We smoked weed. AS A FAMILY. IT WAS BEAUTIFUL.
It's like we're in an emotionally distant three-way and there's not even sex to show for it.