Maybe we should try and tone it down a notch. The neighbors changed the name of their wifi network to "i can hear you having sex".
I don't know what's worse: going to the liquor store at 9am or knowing that its open at 9am
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
Hypothetically speaking, what is the proper response if one gets bitten by a most likely not rabid squirrel? Hypothetically.
Think of this as an opportunity. Like Jesus just opened up his closet, and inside is an endless supply of huge, beautiful cock.
I'm eating a piece of cake like an apple. At least my thought process is healthy.
it's not like this is the first time she's brought a guy home and I'm the one who hooks up with him
well this is gonna sound really bad but we were fooling around on sandra's electrical wheelchair
We have bigger issues at hand... Does anybody know someone in the kalamazoo area that is missing a pair of stilts ?
Dad danced with a girl half his age and her boyfriend just sat at the bar and waited for dad to be done. I bought pity nachos.
Uh do you have my pants because I have yours
If someone plays phil collins i'm gonna take off my clothes
Is there ever a non-asshole time to play the "I was a child prodigy" card?
I wanna suck that fisherman's dick.
I want you to remember that you started masturbating in front of a car full of people. That drunk.
Randomize
