can't wait for January to be Over so I don't have to see all the fat resolutionists working out.
He kept referring to his penis a his "love gun"
We went out. i got lost. dunno where they were. they slept in the car. i slept in an outdoor shower. i dont know anything else.
She broke up with him yesterday after she cheated on him. He's going a bachelor party next weekend. How has Homeland Security not raised the threat level?
how bad is she
captain morgan with tits
he made me feel like a shish kabob. his dick was the skewer.
and you said he wasn't worth calling.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I consented to having my finger branded. How was your night?
You were, but he disappeared after you said you wanted him to get you pregnant so you'd have a child by the time the Boy Meets World sequel starts
You took motorboating me in public to a whole new level. You poured your beer down my top and LAPPED IT UP.
He was so fat that he broke two of my ribs
Maybe it's time to stop screaming I'm a chubby chaser every time you enter a drinking establishment
Dude, I woke up with wet dollar bills in my boxers where did you take me???
Good friends chat about sex - great friends ask about safe words.
Dad smells like hangovers and 65 years of bitterness
I’m going to lick a fucking door knob when this shit is all over
Probably Waffle House
Randomize
