Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
I needed to borrow my dads nail clippers and next to it was an industrial size box of condoms if that wasnt bad enough I dropped the clippers behind the bed and discovered hundreds of used condoms
i dont know you, but i just did a line with your business card.
mom just called and i was mid bong hit but i answered anyways coughing and sounding rough she the apologized for waking her little angel up. its 2PM
He woke up next to me, said I "wasn't naked enough" and fell back asleep. I proceeded to blow him.
He managed to get his pants on, so the cop just sat there facing us with his lights shining in the car. I made shadow puppets.
Congratulations, you have helped solved the mysterious disapperance of Dani's phone which was found in the munchies cabinet next to the oreos. Your reward is star power as well as a fat ass bowl of Nebula. You may proceed through the wardrobe and into Narnia for your prize.
We didnt even know he was in the house until he came downstairs and asked why he was wet
I think we've had way too many heart to hearts in the Mc Donalds parking lot for this to be a healthy relationship
She is screaming bc she thinks you jumped out the window...please show her you just went out for a smoke
I picked up the bartender so he could open the bar early and ended up with him giving me a ride home when he closed. I like snowdays and everything, but they get really expensive. Also, I think I threw up on his front door. Not checking.
Just found out i over drew my checking account on a 711 hot dog
Do u remember buying that
I remember eating it on the curb like a drunken hobo
I'm tired of being known as the Great Giver Goddess of the Almighty Pity Bone.
Oh man I wish I could've gotten a picture of how many anti-circumcision stickers are on this Prius
Tonight I'm getting fucked up for America because Lord knows we need it.
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