I kind of had a moment like that kid whose mom cancelled his WoW subscription, except I didn't try to shove a remote control up my own ass.
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
Responsibility does not care about your dick.
He sent me $300 worth of sex toys. My clitoris went into hiding after two days.
You flooded my bathroom while trying to construct a hot tub. All three of you were completely naked.
There were midgets. And vodka. If you don't appreciate the awesomeness of that sentence, read it again.
just filed my taxes drunk as balls. i may be going to jail.
You were being mean. And telling everyone to suck your six inch strap on. People were not pleased
Please be lying.
Im not. Your family was creeped out
Sorry about all of the penis things that happened last night.
You climbed out your own window and walked in the front door..
My bad man. I was at a strip club, and apparently it's like a big deal to take your phone out in one of those places.
as much bud light as i have consumed over the years budweiser should give me a clydesdale
I knew it was Christmas when someone handed me a stocking filled with airplane bottles. Ps just woke up 3 days later
I miss my innocence.
I miss being able to say, "I've never done this before."
Just got an x-ray done of my hip and you can clearly see the outline of my penis in it. When the doctor saw it she said "wow I haven't seen one that big on an x-ray before." Pretty sure the doc and the nurses are going to be talking about me on their lunch break.
Randomize
