I'm skeptical of all drag queens.
I mean we're not committed. He's my first choice, sort of like miller lite. When I'm at the bar I'm going to order one, but if they don't maybe I'll go for a bud or blue moon. I'm certainly not going to stop drinking
The bathroom is trashed. Someone took down all the rings of the shower curtain and Scott threw up on the curtain liner. All the soap and shampoo is in the guest bedroom and the lightbulbs are in a drawer. And there are vom footprints.
1.) You left the rest of your whiskey here 2.) I drank your whiskey 3.) then made a steam roller out of the bottle 4.) Everything tastes like whiskey
There's a bed on the roof. The window behind it is too small for it to go through. I'm impressed.
Woke up in my underwear and Christmas sweater. Only. Eggnog has won the battle but not the war.
Stop making Mac and cheese and sit on his face. FINISH HIM
i ended up eating cold sauceless spaghetti out of the container in the fridge with my hands.
I did a kegel this morning to determine if I had been penetrated during last night's blackout. Nope.
I spent the entire night stroking his hair. He was cool with it. Never thought a ginger stoner would help me work through my social anxiety but here we are.
I've never wanted anyone to have herpes as I much as I want him to right now.
Turns out he's actually a she. Might keep dating her just to see Mom's reaction.
can we drink soon
I'm not sure who this is but I'm free tomorrow night
Checked my bank account this morning...apparently I went to 7-11 at 4am and spent $22 on taquitos. New all time low for me.
I ate all of them. New all time low for ME.
GOD DAMN IT I COULD HAVE HAD A MOTHERFUCKING 3 WAY LAST NIGHT. WHY BOOZE, WHY?!
Randomize
