We have sex, then he cooks. It's like a fantasy.
margarita wednesday is really going to dip into new year's eve thursday
I wasn't expecting a boner of this magnitude
She sent me a pic of shot glasses on fire if that tells you anything
is there any kind of "im boning my neighbor and he happens to be a manager at walmart" discount that our new relationship entitles me to??
so I ate shit in the bar and took a barstool down with me and this guy helped me up and I just started making out with him. I need to stop meeting men like that
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
Remember when we tried to have fun last time..? I got put in a choke hold and you woke up in some ones car.
The laundromat is nothing like In the pornos
Bro, she said she wanteo to fuck me with my white Nike cap on so I resemble a douchebag. I think my choice of women might be coming into question
You know you have a problem when your man yells at you that his penis is not your personal play toy.
Like either my tits got bigger or I've succumbed to Trumps tiny hand syndrome
dude the last time we saw him was 2 nights ago when he was yelling that the trees were naked or some shit then he ran into the forest. I think its time for a search party
I'm one bad relationship away from owning seven cats.
Ahhh, beer. My second favorite breakfast drink.
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