so apparently dipping a tampon in red gatorade and throwing it out the window on the highway is a $100 fine
i think i am going to devote my summer to making my cats internet celebrities
My mom said "I don't want to fund your drug problem" so she gave me a gift card to the book store. I now have a 420 page book on growing weed.
Things found in my vomit last night: cell phone, Von Hayes rookie card, a boot, my dignity
i just saw the eighteen different ways i could die and only after that did i realize i'd made a poor decision
He told me that a camel appeared out of nowhere and it told him to quit smoking...
Thanks for bailing me out last night guys. it's bullshit that everbeering people at bars is illegal. bitches have no sense of adventure anymore
I suggest absurd amounts of masturbation this weekend to build up the necessary calluses
Don't feel sorry for me. I'm getting Red Lobster and sex tonight. Nothing can bring me too far down.
I'm home alone for the next hour and a half, I expect soup and and a willing attitude to do drugs from one of or both of you girls.....annnnnd go
You made me drive your car so you could give the dude from the parking lot a BJ in the back seat. Classy.
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
My roomate had an hour long melt down about her life choices not realizing I was in the middle of having sex... So yea it went pretty horribly.
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
I can't be a daydrinker without you. It just doesn't work.
I love you too.
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