she has over 3,000 tagged photos on facebook. dont tell me she isnt annoying.
I'm surprised you like me... I didn't think I was your type.
Blonde hair and big tits is every guys type.
Only she could turn her genital wart appointment into a date night.
Come over so we can hookup and eat tacos. Those are 2 things you can't possibly turn down.
Wesley I'm sober and my body hurts. There wasn't much trust in any of those falls.
On a happier note, I can fit in my old shorts. Dope does have its perks
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
nothing like waking up to a voice mail saying your std test came back negative
Apparently I was so drunk last night I got stuck in the revolving door at the hotel. They have suveliance vidoes of it.
Just found a rebirth in peppermint schnapps. May be able to stay up all night and finish this paper after all. MERRY CHRISTMAS
Also I found $40 in the women's bathroom at ihop. Karma is finally kicking in!
We lost you in the bar so we waited outside for you...next thing you know you kick open the doors and yell "I'M ALIVE"
He just told me my boobs made up for all the bad things that had ever happened to him. I'm definately having sex with him again.
I could not add him. He gets 5 likes on Instagram.
So he called his lawyer from the bar to confirm the cost of hitting the douchebag before flooring him. I respect his planning skills.
Randomize
