Ps what kind of horrible ppl are we that we both checked blackberries during sex and neither minded?
I just realized I've stolen a hat from every guy I fucked. Except the last one. Maybe there is hope for me.
Does peppermint hummus sound good or am I just high?
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
Maybe he meant to say like I love fucking you? But just forgot the fucking part.. That's what I'm telling myself.
I deleted his number so I had to go into my old voicemails which are saved through my gmail and search his name... Never underestimate the resourcefulness of a drunk girl on a mission for dick
We had hangover sex and then I called a taxi home. Told him I didn't want his number because, if it was meant to be, we would fuck again. He called me the queen of one night stands.
Just saw a dude take a shot in the parking lot in his car. Too early in the semester for that
"Like what guy would respond to 'let's fuck. I've got bagels'??"
... Okay, fine. But I don't want to be a better person tonight. I'll be a better person tomorrow.
If you think I'm not petty enough to drive to your house at 3 in the goddamn morning just to punch you, you underestimate me.
WHY DOES MY BOYFRIEND'S BROTHER HAVE TO BE SO FUCKING HOT
only you would understand that I was talking from the perspective of my boobs
I didn't have any lime for my chaser.. so after my shot I ate a handful of lime flavored chips. Didn't work so great.
You smell like a steam boat captain.
Whatever your on right now, I want.
Randomize
