Just role played anchorman. And yes, I did take her to pleasure town.
Just got the American Express annual summary for 2009. The amount of bars we visited last year is impressive.
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I woke up at 6 on his trampoline wearing only a parka.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
You gave the cab driver your pants as collateral while you ran in the house for money.
We made the pizza boy do Jell-o shots with us. He didn't even deliver to our house, we just called him over from the neighbors
I should work for the FBI. Or planned parenthood.
That's quite a broad spectrum. What did you do?
Just checked my voicemails on the work phone on speaker. Thank you so much for the one of you screaming "COME FUCK ME NOWWWW!" my boss loved it ..
Uh yeah can we get an age of consent check on Dave's penis?
Age of consent, Dave's penis. Thank you...
We are trying to penis chicken awkward them out. But I think it's a gay wedding. Backfiring. Heavily.
last night we were hooking up when all the sudden he just murmured "mm blonde". i don't know what to think about this situation.
The spirit of America is being too hungover to celebrate America right?
I can't base my relationships off of good dick and dogs.
I duct taped a bottle of vodka to the back of your closet while you were sleeping in case of emergencies. Go rip it off, it's going to be a long night.
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