Chicken burrito, or no deal.
Is that code for my vagina?
Who the fuck has ever referred to a vagina as a chicken burrito
Is it bad that everytime I read or hear "Woo Hoo" I immediately think of sex because of The Sims?
there is a homeless man oan crack poledancing on a fence... now hes humping it...
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
Kanye's agent is the only person whose job sucks worse than mine.
Is it sad that I find it completely normal that I just took batteries out of a vibrator to put them in a pencil sharpener so I could do homework?
I find this completely acceptable.
Things I had in my bed when I woke up: an avocado, a toilet brush, and a note that says thanks but no thanks with the number of taco bell on it. WHAT DID I DRINK?
Ok how about tonight me and you get laid together. Same girl. Then she signs our dicks.
As weird as it sounds I would totally be down
I just dumped bong water and Bacardi out of my purse into the trash can. Everything in my purse is soaked. I hate Sundays.
Build a thousand brigdes, lick one butthole. What am I remembered for? Buttholelicking.
sex in a hospital.. check
Hook ups at LEGOLAND don't count right?
Are we playing inappropriate sexual encounters bingo?
I wonder whether Megan will forgive me if i have phone sex in her attic
So I missed the eclipse because I was masturbating.
I've got a surprise in the fridge when you get back.
Is it a puppy?
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