Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
nutella sex= disaster
I am so getting Plan B when we get home. Not getting knocked up by a dude with a hair piece.
i feel this will be the best possible way to start a friendship. By breaking into his house.
I'd be a gr8 surrogate. I'm gonna love your fetus
Just found a wrench in the washing machine. Sooo not doing your laundry anymore.
My Mom printed off all of my Augusts text messages. Apparently I've been drinking WAY too much and having an intermediate drug problem. I have to go home everyw weekend for the rest of the semester
"Shots" of grape juice. I fucking hate Utah soooo fucking much.
that man is just a bundle of powerful magic and poor judgment
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
We went the strip club and out of no where the waitress brings him over a quesadilla and a jäger bomb and says your usual!! He swore he had never been there before
I wonder how many people saw me whip my junk out and bang it on the light post in front of holabird bar and liquors last night. I'm about tired of having to do that.
Nobody saw you except the people in the bar, because you weren't outside. You were inside, and you were smacking it on the mens bathroom door handle
I really hate whoever invented fireball.
What the hell do you do when your fuck buddy leaves to go for a piss naked and 20 minutes later hasn't come back and can't be found anywhere in the house or outside but has left his phone, tee shirt and shoes in your bedroom.
I don't think there is a pre defined social etiquette for a lost naked fuck buddy now roaming the streets.
Campus scavenger hunt! and by scavenger hunt I mean all the pharmacies are sold out of Plan B.
Who did he bring home?
Idk. But did you see her shoe choice by the stairs, I'm really not expecting anything great.
Randomize
