sorry about last night, I don't know what happened but I woke up this morning and looked strikingly similar to courtney love, it had to be bad.
It didn't go so well. He got drunk and asked my dad if 'front or back' virginity mattered more.
Just gave advice in krystal burger while holding and pointing with a corona to a 3 year old, told her to enjoy her stroller time while it lasts. The mom pushed her away fast.
All I could understand from his text was "hatchet" "soccer" & "bitch". its safe to say andy has had enough to drink & will be violent soon
I voted for him because his wife supports his raging sex life.
theres a turtle on the table. helping me eat my ramon noodles.
just got the results back. i love his dick even more now i know its clean
There's gotta be a happy medium between the guys who only want to sleep with me and the ones that respect me too much to try to sleep with me.
should i go to class, or party with a mariachi band?
meriachi band is very tempting, do they have dos equis?
MY roomie made me a chinese name- it's supposed to mean 'the girl of a thousand sins.'
I'm at work. It's margarita night. Someone literally just shouted "MURICUH!"
God bless us, everyone.
Just once I'd like to do blow in a nice bathroom.
I was told to keep my leg elevated. I assume it means to keep my legs on the air, it's like I was prescribed to be slutty
The exact people you expect to find at a bar at 2pm are here. Come visit. We'd really like the company.
Moms love me. I'm the reminder that they need to turn safe search on.
Randomize
