Ugh now I'll have to carry around an overnight bag to all the bars I visit tonight. but hey! maybe I'll meet a dude! And need it!
So J keeps drinking his last bit of drink, then spitting it out and drinks it again. Savor the flavor?
He said "what's the haps". I don't know what the haps are but there goes his chances
you didnt know i had herpes?
Drawing dicks in the frost on people's windshields is a rare joy I allow myself while walking to my 8 AM class.
He bought me shots at the bar as his way of of paying me back for Plan B
This Xanax laced vodka tonic will help me forget that all these spring breakers are all young enough to have been my students.
Watching frozen planet. There's a beach master sea lion with about 50 sea lion bitches fighting another sea lion for said bitches. It's a bloody battle. Dude. You have over 50. Share.
You don't have anything to lose--we've established that he's not going to murder you and he smells good.
There's a kid in the back of the class drinking out of a flask. Like what is going on?
NOW HE'S DRINKING OUT OF A HANDLE. WHO IS THIS KID?
I was thrusting to the beat of Felix Navidad..
If she didn't block me, she would have known that I sneezed on her toothbrush.
I woke up with a chicken in my yard
Do you not remember hopping the fence into a chicken coop and screaming "choot em'"like you were on swamp people?
No recollection, can you come help me shut this thing up
I'm licking blood from my knuckles and I still haven't found my car keys..are you in town tonight?
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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