i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Just took my first sake bomb. I love japan
its a sex-hate relationship...no love involved
Like reprimanding the wall for "sneaking up on me" drunk
His apartment number was 69. I had to.
I WALKED myself out of breath. And I'm lost I'm a Tim Hortons parking lot. That's how hungover I am.
When did we convert life to cartoon?
Proudest moment of my life. Just watched a guy walk into the side of a car because I winked at him. Love these yoga pants and my hair. Fuck yes. His mouth was hanging open.
Still dying that you shit outside
I just want nice things and good sex
Btw I'm already known as the drunk roommate. Don't know if that's a success or a failure seeing as it hasn't even been a week since I've been here
You just sat there staring at your apple and saying "I'm so glad you're here" to it every time you took a bite.
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
No I'm not lying to you. I'm just not telling you the whole story. There's a massive difference.
Just a typical Friday. Dinner, drinks, doing lines with a member of Congress
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