so I was thinking like, Rob Pattinson could make so much money whoring himself out dressed as Edward Cullen.
yeah, I mean if he's down to fuck a lot of fat chicks and stare at Tiger Beat posters of himself above the bed...
I don't think a check that has "thx for the drugs" on the note is really gonna fly.
We have zombies coming, and all you can think about is cock.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Its not gay if you're best friends and there's less than an inch of dick in the picture. That's where the line is drawn
I don't know if I want to live in a world where i can't fuck an exes brother.
I'm petting the cat while shitting. This is all I ever wanted
I miss the "How many Grindr hits can I get while performing in an elementary school?" game.
8===D
That's the bat signal to come over and fuck me.
When he pulled it out last night I asked if that was as hard as it was going to get. I think I may have offended him.
A particularly funny moment you may have missed; you walked in to the basement to announce that whoever was cooking sausages had left them on the grill for Hella long, only to be told that you were in fact the person grilling. At which point you just said, "the sausages are done" and walked out
i think my cat just said my name.
man fuck you i am a delight. you're the one who fucking set his tree on fire while high
its so awesome dude, its like im a magical unicorn or something
I just tried to lit a bowl with my chapstick.
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