just had cupcakes and mountain dew for dinner-now i'm playing super mario brothers. 10 year olds all over the world would kill to be me.
How many times can you lose to your mom in beer pong before you can no longer show your face around campus?
so would me posting the photos of the cock and coin jar incident be completely out of the question?
i crashed through a building. if that counts then yes, i went out with a bang.
Btw sorry for throwing that bag of ice at your face lastnight....
all i wanna do is drink skittled vodka, fuck my gf, and pass out in my neighbors hot tub naked
Okay! I've got my sketchbook, my purse, my coat, and a knife hidden in my cleavage. I'm ready for to meet my blind date~
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
i figure if i show enough tits, no one will notice my eyebrows.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Is it too soon for me to wonder what sex with him would be like?
I refuse to answer that question on the grounds that it may incriminate me
How about this: I support you through your miserable marriage, and you support me through all my anonymous sex?
I tried to flirt with him by saying "catholics are cool" and he handed me a cup of water so i called him jesus and thanked him for the wine
why is half of my head shaved?
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