the truckdriver in the lane next to me just looked down and motorboated in my direction.
These 5 days benders will be the death of me. Just living and breathing is a struggle right now.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
her night didn't end so well, both of her boyfriends got arrested... together.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
You never did explain why you were in wal-mart with a wok full of popcorn.
I know you think I'm being paranoid, but can you please make sure Danny doesn't rub my wedding invitation on his balls?
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
they had to hand cuff you because you wouldn't stop trying to unzip the paramedic's pants...this is why i love you
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Having a vagina does not stop me from believeing my balls are bigger than yours.
You couldn't remember her number so you tried to dial her name into your phone. Once you realized you didn't know her name, you dialed 7 random numbers
Btw. Being a stripper for a week without anyone knowing to pay off my school loan is no longer in my agenda.
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
Just an FYI you do have to wear pants to lunch
SpongeBob is life. I once broke up with a guy bc he said SpongeBob was stupid.
Randomize