dude im shwasted, kabul is not the best place for this
Just ran into that chick u called from my phone and left her a MSG bout how she has aids
Ahaha, good shit
I just snorted a line of adderall through a rolled up business card for the Michigan Law Admissions Office.... Tell me I'm not motivated
did you know that snuggie is the perfect anti-freak out aid for stoners? it weighs you down so you can't go anywhere. just sit there and enjoy the movie, that's right.
Don't get the hula weed. It makes you sleep walk in destructive and confusing ways. I'll explain on Saturday.
I don't think i can handle my uncle say again that kid rock is a true musician....
i just bought plan b at the bus station. happy holidays and welcome to a new level of white trashiness.
The girls danced. I drank. Then I danced cause I was drunk. Then I ripped tim's shirt off cause I'm awesome.
I just bought 7 working mopeds off a guy for $300. We are 60% of the way to our gay biker gang dream.
Her craziness is the sexiest thing about her.
I can't wait to read your obituary.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
He brought me hungover chipotle knowing full well he wasn't getting a blow job. I think he may be too in love with me.
If I don't answer right away it's because I took an Adderall and the fridge needs cleaned.
No clue what you did last night, sorry. You did hand me a pizza and a mason jar with $1200 in small bills in it when I let you in though.
I'm a delicate orchid of a man.
Blossoming into a fierce dragon.
Randomize
