i thought i was the drunkest one there til some girl puked in the tip jar.
i was concerned for your health after you took your "last shot" four times...
Buying a large dominoes pizza for a wasted 3 mile walk is the best bad idea ever. My mouth is on fire, probably broke my hand, and i may or may not have eaten street pizza.
How did you break your hand eating pizza?
Boxes are hard to see rocks through.
It was worse than that time I did shots of BBQ sauce and pierced my own ear with a thumbtack
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
no dude I'm not doing anything bad to her...remember she's always the DD she has blackmail material on literally all of us
Apparently she has a 10 week old kid, which would explain the hallway effect I was feeling.
How bad would it be if I wore out the dress we got peed on in. You're the only one who knows.
so my pro life roomate found a used condom wrapped up in her sheets with your panties. never letting you have sex in her bed again
Make sure you plan your visit for October. That's ACL festival, it's like every Bro in the country converges on Austin. My vagina wants to go hunting.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
It's like she fell out of an MTV reality show and no one knows how to send her back
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
TELL HER ABOUT THE GODDAMNED MOTHERFUCKING POTATOES
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
I'm always down for nudity.
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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