She told me she only masterbates to Kenny Rogers songs.
OMG. What did u say?
I told her I did too.
she asked if i had a condom...i said yes...when we finished it wasnt on...told her it was at home on my dresser.
oh my god. i just found my camera... on top of the bush outside of my house. never let me drink everclear again
Just found a dugout in my rental car glove box. Suddenly my mood is upbeat.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Btw... when someone is licking your balls, "yeah... that's not the worst thing in the world" is not an appropriate compliment/thank you.
hand jobs are a waste of time that only lead to arm cramps. Also, where do you look...his eyes, at the penis, at the tv?
yeah the "where to look" question is super awkward
Thanks for setting a pic of your balls as my desktop background. You'll find you're cc'ed on the mass email of it.
Please put me on a plane and hypontize me into forgetting the little bit of last night that I do remember.
Idk she didn't seem that weird to me but I had just eaten an entire tray of jello infused with liquor so I could be wrong...
Last night I dreamed that I got eaten out by Lego Harry Potter.
I'm glad I can share my workout progress with you via my nudes
its like i get a dick upgrade with every new guy i screw, at this rate i'm scared to see my next one
I am now banned from the bar... Because you got head from my ex in the woman's restroom
Not even a manhunt keeps my brother and his friends from the bars
Randomize
