Omg I just drooled on the screen of my phone from smiling with my mouth open while textin bahahahaahah
He came through my line today and bought designer impostor perfume, just for men gel, and astroglide. I almost DIED.
you don't understand, he speaks spanish and is tall. i have to do him.
get to allyx's house asap
Ok is everything ok
Yeah, theres just lesbians
omg yes on my way
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You blacked out and walked in on my neighbor breast feeding at 3am yelling "where is my best friend". I think we should go apologize.
You're a disgrace to the female race and the love triangle and halloween.
sorry for the naked aussie man in your room last night, he got lost on his way to the bathroom
God dammit not the cupcake channel. Not when I'm high.
I'm hoping my engineering degree will pay off when I invent porn watching in the shower
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
Sensing a theme here
If alcoholism is a theme, yes.
Thanks for listening. You're the first guy I've ever worked with who I didn't want to fuck.
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
In other news I was masturbating last night and came really fucking hard to the thought of yelling at a customer....
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