I'm drinking till I'm someone else's problem
just watched an entire episode so you think you can dance for head. so wasn't worth it
Everything smells like syrup. But I guess that's better than last time when everything smelled like beer.
I just found little boats floating in my bathtub....they are made out of white castle boxes, condoms, pickles, and corks. All the wine we bought is being used as the "ocean"....clearly we didn't drink any of the wine.....but I don't remember doing this.
Dude, you need to come clean your dates vomit off the ceiling. What in the hell were you guys doing?!
I'm about to do the walk of shame in a christmas onesie. What would I do without christmas sweater party season?
I should've been more social I guess. I feel bad not meeting the people who willingly sucked alcohol out of my navel...
why can't I meet attractive men at the places I like to hang out? like books a million. or the liquor store.
That was awkward , having sex with her while her husband watched via Skype. I'm a porn star or a target. Idk
So shaving my butt whilst humming "be prepared" is now in my top five weirdest Friday night activities.
I'm gonna play this game called Conquer the Dicks. I think it is self explanatory.
Can cross "get fingered at a state park" off my bucket list
"Only you can prevent yeast infections."
We are making a pool on how long he stays sober this time you want in?
Usually it's tequila, or vodka. But today was just the devil
Got caught up in a real life love triangle. Both guys wanted me. I'm tempted to just run off with the cute girl from McDonalds instead
Please do that
Randomize
