I woke up this AM and all of my clothes i wore last night are gone. Instead i am dressed in air jordans, boxers, cargo shorts, and an Affliction t-shirt. the part that upsets me most is that i was with a guy who wears Affliction t-shirts.
Just got booed while taking a piss and asked if I 'call that a penis.' Get me the fuck out nf yankee stadium.
So he handed us the weed then asked us if we needed any papers. And she goes "i dont know what that means, do we need to sign something?"
Nothing good has ever or will ever come from 50 cent beers at the bowling alley..
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
Ohhh,that's true. Babies are only fun when you're high. Otherwise, they're the worst kind of people.
Was almost hungover and got scared, skipped hungover, back to hammered. Fuck real life
That's not your dick yours is smaller. Nice try.
Wait why do you have a pic of someone else's dick in your phone?
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
Really I don't care what we're doing or watching. Your penis spends way too much time outside of my body.
Nothing to be ashamed of. I bet Oprah has sharted.
whered you go
woke up in a ditch, shat infront of a little league game, slept in her stairway...i need to come here more often
Hypothetically speaking of course, is it bad if a cat eats lube?
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize
