In similar news, my cock is bigger than the plane that landed in the hudson.
susan atkins died, charles manson's lady
dont cry, there are other serial killers to crush on.
I just jerked it so loud the neighbor banged on their floor. maybe my wife got the point
you went around the entire night in your french maid costume dusting off the "cob webs" on everyone's crotch saying "you havent gotten any action in a while"
I was wondering why i got so many friend requests the next day...
I hated hipsters before it was mainstream.
I just did the nutritional comparison between 2% milk and Bud Light Lime.. the beer had less calories, less carbs, and less fat. It's not looking good for milk in my life anymore
Hey couldn't find water bottle to put margs in whole bottle in purse gonna stop and get cups and ice from starbucks and burrito from una mas want a quesadilla
I basically have a picture with a half naked foreign exchange student. He kept screaming rolltide and i felt like a traitor
Not sure. All I know is that she has a tight dark green skirt and I will not rest until I have used my teeth to rip it off of her
What kind of gift says: "I love you because you're my mom & I'm obligated to, but I don't like you" ?
Found out last night that "Everclear" is Spanish for "shit got weird"...
So we reenacted men's olympic skeet shooting using roman candles and flattened beer cans. That's all
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
I felt like the hulk waking up from a black out except with munchies
Sorry my phone died because I decided charging my vibrator was way more important
Randomize
